I found this to be far to “on par” with what I’ve heared from folks I know who seem to trill in the joys of acting, or being depressed. Thus, I present you:

A duck walks into a butcher’s and says “you got any grapes?” The butcher says “no.” The next day the duck comes in and says, “you got any grapes?” Again the butcher says “no.” The next day the duck comes in and says, “you got any grapes?” The butcher’s getting really annoyed so he says “look, if you come in here asking for grapes again, I’ll nail your beak to the floor.” The next day the duck comes in and says “You got any nails?” “No,” replies the butcher. “Oh,” sighs the duck, “I wish you did. My life is a perpetually flushing toilet and I have finally worked the resolve to kill myself into my worthless apathetic self. I mean, the international community’s falling into turmoil which means there’s nothing preventing another world war, and the economy’s in such a state that I can’t even save enough money to protect myself if does, assuming we aren’t all killed by bioterrorism or a rogue nuke or an asteroid in the meantime. Plus I have a flat tire.”